Giving More Grace

I thank God for my friend because she’s been encouraging me in the Lord. Bringing up things that He’s been trying to tell me but I’ve been avoiding. Unfortunately, that’s how a good portion of my walk is with Him — I hear it from several independent sources before I go “Hmm… I guess that’s what God wants me to do.” I hope that as I grow in the faith I will recognize and respond quicker to His promptings. Of course, that’s something I also fear — that God will ask me to do something very uncomfortable. I’m getting a feeling that He might be… and some part of me is fearful, but another part is excited to know what it is.

I heard a good hymn I have never heard before yesterday. It’s by Annie Johnson Flint, a woman who was close to God. The thing about the whole thing is that it seems that those who are closest to God are those who have tremendous pain and/or challenges in their lives. The only thing I can say to that is that, I want to be close to God, but I pray I never have to go through such heavy testing.

Here’s the Hymn I am talking about:

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

—Annie Johnson Flint

Impatiently Waiting

I was told I’m in the fall season of my walk and that things are falling away to prepare for new growth. That would probably explain some of the trials I have had recently. I’m a bit anxious, but know that God is using this time to prepare me for what is to come. The hard part is that I feel like I am holding my breath and I don’t know when I will be able to let it out.

Finances are tenuous. The job search has been fruitless so far. People have been dying. People have been getting married. At times, it feels as though life is passing me by. However, through it all, God has been faithful and providing for me so that I can live. Contract jobs here and there to extend my savings. People taking me out to eat so I can save a bit of cash.

I’m learning how to lean on others and ask for help… well, I still need to learn to ask for help. Soon I won’t have a choice however so, there’s that. I’ve had to get over myself a bunch of times and still more things keep coming up to challenge me. I know God is showing me where I am lacking, but it sure hurts. Though it seems to be more my pride than anything else.

Lately, He’s been showing me that I still have possessions that own me. Things that I have a hard time letting go of because of my attachment to them. It’s not so much that I’ll use them, but it’s the fact that they are mine. I guess you could call that greed — wanting everything. Or perhaps it’s just plain sentimentalism… which might be my excuse for my greed of wanting to keep everything. Either way, I am going to have to learn to let go and throw some stuff — or donate them — away.

I did some more searching about seasons in a Christian’s walk with Christ. It said that fall was also a time to harvest the growth of the summer and using it to help others. I guess that makes sense too, it’s never completely dead, there’s always things happening in every season. Maybe that is why God placed my friend back in my life who is starting her journey with God. It’s all in His timing.